Umwana ubundi nubwo ntawumenya intekerezo ze ariko avuka ntakibi yiteze guhura nacyo muri ubu buzima. Kuri we aba azi neza ko ibyo azacyenera byose azabibona mu mibereho yose. Burya ntawe uvuka aziko ashobora kugira agahinda, Umubabaro, guhangayika, cg kuribwa. Ariko nyamara siko bigenda kuko iyo umwana ukivuka atangira kubabara. Umwana uri munda ataravuka ntabwo ibihaha bye biba bikora, ahubwo ahumeka binyuze mu maraso ya nyina. Ariko iyo akimara kuvuka, ibihaha bye bihita byakira umwuka wo hanze kugirango abashe kubaho maze buri karemangingo k’ibanze k’ibihaha kakinjiramo umwuka, ibihaha bikaguka umwana akababara maze agatangira kurira ubwo. Nukuri n’ikimenyetso cyiza iyo umwana akivuka akarira , buri wese arabyishimira kuko ntakinezeza nko kwakira umwana muzima. Ariko mu gihe gito rwose aya marira y’uyu mwana nubwo ariyo agaragaza ikimenyetso cy’ubuzima atangira kwinubirwa na buri wese.
Kumenyera Ubuzima kandi ntabwo byorohera umwana kuko mu gihe cy’amezi atatu kugeza ku mezi atandutu, amara y’umwana atangira kwisobanura kuko aribwo ibyo bwa mbere ibyo kunywa biba bitangiye kuyanyuramo maze agatangira kuribwa. Arababara cyane mu buryo bugaragra nubwo muntu ukura ngo yibuke ubwo bubabare ariko iyo witegerje umwana ubona yabuze amahwemo, araryama bikamunanira, bamwubikisha inda bikanga, bamuha ibere kandi arikunda akumva ntibimufasha, nuko nkundi muntu wese ubabara akarira. Ararira kuko nta bundi buryo afite bwo kugaragaza ikibazo cye. Ababyeyi b’abagore barara amajoro menshi, bahendahenda, bahetse, bamuha ibere ngo barebeko yasinzira ariko rimwe narimwe kubera kubabara, ndetse binatewe n’ikigero buri wese yihanganiramo ububabare umwana agakomeza akarira. Nuko kuko abayeyi akenshi ba bagore bakunda abana bikomeye, barakomeza bakitanga ariko kuko urushyize cyera ruhinyuza intwari, kandi wenda kubera imibanire itameze neza mu muryango cg kubera ubumenyi bucye, hari igihe uyu mubyeyi ananirwa maze hakaba ubwo ufata umwanzuro akamureka, cg akamukubita, cg akamutuka. bose icyo baba barambiwe n’amarira y’uwo mwana adashira. Nyamara mubyeyi ndakumva rwose urananiwe ariko wibukeko uyu mwana ataramenya umuntu unaniwe nutananiwe kandi nawe urugamba ariho ntirumworoheye kuko ari kubabara amanywa nijoro. Niyo mpamvu dusaba cyane ababyeyi b’abagabo gukomeza kuba hafi abafasha babo, babaruhura igihe bananiwe, babafasha kubona undi muntu wabakira kugirango babashe gukomeza kwita no guhumuriza uyu mwana ubabaye. Ubushakashtsi bugaragza ko abana bagiye batereranwa muri iki gihe ikigero cyabo cy’impuhwe no kwita ku bandi cyiba hasi ugereranije nabitaweho. Nubwo rwose mwaba munaniwe nimwibukeko umuntu ababara adakwiriye gutereranwa ahubwo akwiriye guhumurizwa.
Ariko usanga inshuro nyinshi umugabo abwira umufasha we, bose bafite akazi mu gitondo, ati ndabasabye rwose ni munvire mu cyumba ejo nifitiye akazi kenshi uwo mwana ari kundirira mu matwi. Ndukumva rwose mugabo uko wabivugaga ufite ishingiro wenda nawe niko byakugendekeye n’umubeyi wawe n’abo muvukana ariko igihe kirageze ngo duhagarike aya mateka yo kutamenya adutera ibikomere by’uruhererekane.
Uyu mwana watereranwe, wakubiswe, watutswe hari benshi baba baziko atabyumva ariko ikibigaragaza ko abizi nuko akomeza akarira kugeza igihe imbaraga zishiriye. Ibi bigabanya cyane umutima w’ubugwaneza mu mwana. Kuko bimeze nk’igihe waba waragobwe ururimi utabasha kuvuga kandi utazi n’icyakurengera maze ukarwara indwara igutera ububabare ariko wataka ukabona nta muntu numwe ushaka ku kumva.
Ariko se ubundi kuki umwana arira? Ubundi muri rusange kurira ku mwana nubwo uko agenda ukura bifatwa nk’ikimenyetso kibi ariko ubundi kurira ku mwana bigaragaza ikimenyetso cy’ubuzima cg ikimenyetso cyo gushaka ubuzima. Nibwo buryo bwe akoresha bwo kuvuga ikitagenda kugirango atabarwe kuko nta rundi rurimi aramenya. Nibyo koko abikora kenshi , ariko nyamara nawe ubu ngubu nubwo wakuze bibaye ngombwa ko kurira aribwo buryo bwonyine ufite ngo witabweho nukuri amarira yawe yaruta kure ay’umwana. Niyo mpamvu dukwiriye kumenya impamvu zitera umwana kurira.Ubundi umwana arira kubera impamvu zikurikira: Ashonje, ababara, afite ibitotsi cg ananiwe, yinyariye cg yiyitumyeho, hari urusaku rwinsi cg ibindi bintu bimubuza amahoro, icyo munda, uburwayi, agize ubwoba cg igihunga. Turasaba wowe uduteze amatwi ngo igihe umwana arize ukora uko ushoboye umwiteho, umutabare. Nibyo koko birananiza ariko kutabikora bibyara ingaruka zikomeye.
Iyo umwana amaze kwigira hejuru agize amezi nk’atandatu atangira gusekera buri wese niho abanyarwanda bamwita igisekera mwanzi, iki gihe ibihanga bye biba bimaze gukomera maze hakaba hari igihe acikwa akaruma nyina ibere. Uzumva rwose ababyeyi babiganira nk’ihame bati « Burya iyo umwana akurumye uramukubita hato atazabigira akamenyero». Nyamara nimutekereze rwose uko namwe mujya mwiruma inshuro nyinshi mutabishaka icyakora mukavuga ko muri burye inyama. None uru ruhinja rucitswe rurakubitwa, rukababazwa, kandi ntirumenye icyo ruzize. Nibyo mubyeyi uramukubita, ni nako warezwe, kandi abarezwe gutyo baracyabikwigisha, ariko rwose ukwiye kumenya ko aba acitswe akumubwira amagambo meza amwereka ko atariko bonka, ko acitswe mbese nka kwakundi tugukomeza wirumye.
Iyo umwana amaze kwigira hejuru afite nibura imyaka hagati y’ibiri n’itatu hari bintu ajya ahura nabyo bikaba byamukomeretsa nubwo atabivuga. Nagirango nongere nibutse abatwumva ko iki ari igihe gikomeye umwana akwiye guhabwa urukundo kurusha ikindi gihe. Wakwibaza uti kubera iki? Abantu batari bake nagiye nganira nabo baziko umuntu atangira gutekereza kuba umubyeyi amaze gutwita, kubyara, guhabwa inshingano zo kurere… ariko nyamara ndagirango mbabwireko umwana atangira gutekereza uburyo azaba umubeyi afite hagati y’imyaka ibiri n’imyaka itatu n’igice.
Aha niho uzabona umwana w’umukobwa atangira guheka umwana, uwo umuhungu yubaka inzu. Aha niho bavuga ngo umwana aba mu ntekerezo z’umwana. Uyu mwana rero iyo akubitwa, n’umwana aheka aramukubita, Iyo afatwa neza n’umwana ahetse amufata neza niyo mpamvu bantu mudukurikiye mukwiriye kumenyako mutari kurera abana ahubwo muri kurera ababyeyi. Nuko mutangire mubaremomo umutima w’ubumuntu. Umwana ukubitwa cyane, uhanwa bikabije ageze muri iki kigero ubushakashatsi bwakozwe n’ikigo cy’abanyamerika cyita kubana cyizwi ku izina rya «National Traumatic Stress Network» bwerekanakoubwonko bwe budakura neza, akazatsindwa cyane mu ishuli, akunda kurira no kwiyenza kandi akanabikomeza amaze gukura, aratukana bikabije, nta nshuti agira kandi avamo umubyeyi mubi wihimura ku bana be cg kuwo bazabana. uyu munsi ukubita abana bikabije iyo winjiye bahungira mu cyumba, ukubita umugore, mu rugo nta mahoro ahaba rwose turakumva bishobora kuba bifite inkomoko ya cyera kandi ntiwamenye ikibitera, birabangamye rwose byangiza abagukomokaho n’igihugu muri rusange ariko ntiwari ubizi; ariko icyi nicyo gihe ngo ubihindure.
Ubushakashatsi kandi bugaragza ko kubera ko mu myaka itatu ariho umwana atangira kugira umurunga w’urukundo ufatika n’ababyeyi be, iyo bamwitaho, bamuhobera, bamushyira mu gituza, bamubwira amagambo meza, bamuremamo icyizere batamubuza gukora kuri buri kintu ahubwo bakamubwira uburyo bwo kugikoraho, uyu mwana akurana umutima w’umurava kwigiria icyizere, urukundo no kwita ku bandi. Iyo bitagenze gutyo iyu mwana akurana umutima wihebye, wuzuye inzika kandi akumva nta kiza azagira mu buzima. Uzumva umwana abwiye se ati komeza unkubite nzashyira nkure, ariko uwarezwe neza ati undi papa ninkura nzakugurira imodoka uge uyigendamo.
Nkuko tumaze kubibona, umwana ashobora kubura amahoro akiri muto kandi akabikurana bikamugiraho ingaruka zikomeye, niyo mpamvu dusaba buri wese uhura n’umwana kuzirikanak o atari umwana ahubwo ari umubyeyi, kumuha urukundo, ubumenyi, kumwitaho no kumurinda, no kumubibamo imbuto y’amahoro. Ubu wakwibaza uti ese ubundi ko nari nsanzwe mfata nabi umwana wanjye wenda bitewe no kutabimenya kandi nkaba ntashaka gukomeza, none nabigenza nte ngo mufate uko bikwiriye. Tukurarikiye gukurikira ikiganiro cyacu gitaha. ukeneye video y’iki kiganiro wakanda kuri link ikurikira
Byanditswe na MUTUYIMANA Celestin
